Male Student No 5, Shogo Kawada
by Mecha-Foot
Summary: Battle Royale fanfiction I wish there were more of these Shogo Kawada's thoughts from about a week before the fateful trip to the end of his life.


          Disclaimer: I don't own Battle Royale.  I don't own Shogo Kawada.  I wish I owned Kiriyama.  Anyway, read and review.

          The school wasn't much different than my old one.  Same carefree kids (well, not entirely.  The look that Souma girl got in her eyes sometimes was creepy), same jaded, annoyed teachers, same harried secretaries, even.  Everyone stayed away from me, like at my old school, too.  Of course, I didn't have two bullet holes in my back and a machete scar over my eye last year, but I still didn't look exactly friendly.  I could feel my classmates' eyes on me in the hallways, in class, and particularly in gym, when I changed.  One kid, Sasagawa Ryuhei, gave me crap on the first day.  Tried to intimidate me.  That's a joke, considering what I'd been through less than six months ago.

          It wasn't a very long fight.  I bloodied his nose a bit, and he ran.  From what I hear, he went straight to his gang leader, Kiriyama Kazuo, crying.  He was the only thing that scared me at that new school.  He had such a dead look behind those dark, pretty eyes.  Anytime Mr. Hayashida gathered the courage to ask him a question, Kiriyama knew the answer, but he would take a second to gather his thoughts, as if he'd been somewhere else.  Anyway, from what I heard, Kiriyama told him to stop whining and dropped the whole matter.  No one tried to bother me after that--of course, any attempt at conversation was completely abandoned.  

          I had already learned most of the stuff Mr. Hayashida was teaching, so I just watched other kids in class.  They seemed so _normal_.  I envied them.  I mean, they had their problems (Sasagawa seemed hell-bent on terrorizing Akamatsu Yoshio, the only boy in class bigger than myself; and I'd seen Eto Megumi stumble away from Shimizu Hirono in the hallways, the poor girl's skirt slashed up), but it was just middle school stuff, nothing that life-threatening.  I used to be like that, I think.  The Program will definitely change a person.  And they all had their happy points.  They had their sports teams, particularly Tanizawa Haruka and Utsumi Yukie, who were on the volleyball team, and Mimura Shinji and Nanahara Shuya, who were a killer duo on the basketball court, and Nanahara was also a self-proclaimed "rock star" in the music club.  They all seemed mostly on friendly terms with each other, besides a few grudges (Chigusa Takako really despised Niida Kazushi, anyone with eyes could see that).  I was settling into a nice, peaceful life.  I was ready to forget the horrors I'd seen--and committed.

          Then came the spring study trip.

          I still don't know what made me go.  Given what happened the last time I stepped on a bus like that, you'd think I'd be scared shitless of school trips.  Of course, I guess I got a little cocky.  I mean, who in the hell would be so unlucky as to be chosen not once, but _twice_ for this miserable "game"?

          Me, apparently.

          I was packing in the little two room flat I'd rented (with both my parents dead, what else could I have done?) the night before the trip.  Toothbrush, toothpaste, a change of clothes, hairbrush (ha, like I'd need one.  Since I'd transferred to Shiroiwa, I'd clipped my hair so short I was nearly bald) and a knife?  I lived in a pretty dodgy part of town; the knife was just in case somebody decided to break in to see if I had anything worth stealing.

          Be prepared, they always say.

          I held the knife in my hand, turning it over and over.  No way.  I wouldn't need to use this thing, anyway.  It would be a simple trip: staying up late, going to the amusement park, someone would invariably get sick, boys finally biting the bullet and asking the girl they liked out... of course, not that that would apply to me.  I was too scary, and hadn't been there long enough to be the object of anyone's affection.  Well, except Tsukioka Sho, but wanted nothing to do with that sort of crush.  Plus, he hit on every single boy, I learned.  But I expected it to be a nice, normal trip.  Without the killing and slaughter and betrayal.  I was supposed to room with Nanahara Shuya and Kuninobu Yoshitoki (I got put in their room since no one else wanted me).  They seemed pretty cool.  Maybe I'd get to know them a little better, and have some friends at school, finally.

          Still... just in case, I packed that knife.  I told myself I wouldn't need it.  This would be just a carefree, fun school trip.  Nothing to worry about.

          Don't you just hate it when fate sucker punches you like this?

          I sat across from Nanahara and Kuninobu on the bus.  Kuninobu spoke animatedly, smiling and waving his hands.  He was ecstatic to be on this trip, it was obvious.  I was just wondering if I was going to have a seat to myself when she stepped on the bus.

          Nakagawa Noriko.  A cute, short girl with soft dark eyes and darker hair.  She apologized to the driver and the teacher and took the only available seat left, the one beside me.

          "Do you mind if I sit with you, Shogo-san?" she asked politely.  I looked at her and waved at her to sit down in a "it's a free country" gesture (which of course isn't true in any way shape or form), where she promptly forgot I was there in favor of Nanahara.  _Cute couple_, I remember thinking.  I was partially asleep when I heard a crinkle of cellophane opening and a crunching noise.  A sweet smell filled the air.  Cookies?  I opened one eye a crack.  Ah.  Nakagawa had made cookies.

          "You think he wants one?" Nanahara asked, pointing his chin at me.

          "He doesn't seem like the type to eat cookies," Nakagawa replied, chuckling slightly.  I'll have you know I'm a big fan of cookies, particularly chocolate chip.  Instead of informing the trio of this, I merely rumbled, "No thanks," and went back to sleep.

          That was probably the most I'd ever said to anyone at school.  I lightly dozed until probably ten o' clock, when I woke up with a start.

          Gas!  I was sweating.  The same filthy knockout gas they used last time!

          I tried to calm myself down.  It's okay, Shogo... just a bad dream.  You're entitled to bad dreams, you know.  After all you've been through... but that doesn't mean it's actually happening.  The bus is not filling up with gas... not filling up with gas.  You'll just look over to your side, and Nakagawa and Nanahara will be there, chatting and flirting, and generally having a good time...

          Shit.  Shit shit shit.  Nakagawa and Nanahara were both fast asleep.  I looked all around the bus.  Everyone else was asleep too.  My stomach churned.  I really was smelling that vile gas.  It was leaking out of the air conditioning ducts.  I reached over to flip up the emergency exit, push out the window and escape.  I might be shot at, I might break something as I fell, but anything was better than going back to that government sponsored-hell known as the Program.

          The locks were rusted shut.  I groaned and started beating the glass, hoping to break it.  The gas had already taken its toll, and I knew it.  My hand dropped to my side, and I muttered, "Damn".  I suppose I was just lucky.  Hideously lucky.

          I woke up, knowing exactly what I'd see: everyone in their school uniforms, either half-asleep or completely asleep, sitting at their desks, in the same layout as school.  And that damned gaudy collar around all of our necks.  Exactly the same as last time.  I pulled a piece of gum from my pocket and started chewing.  I had a feeling they wouldn't take too kindly to me lighting up in the "classroom".  I thought of offering a piece to the people around me (Kiriyama, Kanai Izumi), but figured it would be in bad taste, especially considering what they were about to learn.

          Same bastard Sakamochi, with his same ugly uniform and disgusting smile.  I barely even blinked when they brought out the remains of Hayashida.  They didn't do the same for Mr. Kino, but I was expecting it ever since the soldiers brought in the lumpy bag.  Hayashida was too compassionate, cared too much to let his children be subject to such a horrific "game".  Takiguchi Yuichiro was puking a few seats to my right, but everyone else was too dumbstruck to make fun of him for it.  Actually, not everyone looked horrified or disgusted.  Souma Mitsuko and Kiriyama had rather blank expressions on their faces.  He leaned forward a little in his seat, like he was mildly interested, and Souma just glanced at the remains of her teacher and looked away with an expression like, "I've seen worse".  Yuichiro wouldn't be the last to lose his lunch--among other things--anyway.  Sakamochi explained the rules cheerily, and I smiled smugly.  He used the exact same speech he had last time.

          Kuninobu.  Poor kid.  He was dead when he first jumped out of his seat.  Of course, all of us (with the exception of the "winner") were technically already dead too, but he bought himself an early ticket out of this world.  Fujiyoshi Fumiyo too... I was almost expecting that to happen to someone.  Sakamochi, that sadistic prick, probably liked to make an example of someone--he knifed Hikari Ando my first go 'round.

          Kiriyama.  He was so... I didn't understand it.  I understand how some people can be calm even under extreme pressure, but he didn't seem fazed at all with the prospect of killing his classmates.  He simply asked, "when does the game start?"  He would be one of the last ones alive. He wouldn't be the winner--not if I could help it--but I just knew he would last, unless he was going to kill himself.  After all, who was more qualified to be the judge of that than me?  Okay, well, maybe Sakamochi, but I wasn't about to ask him.

          I left fairly early in the lineup (I was the third last to leave last time), dug my map out of the day pack they gave me.  I headed for the general supply store marked in the residential area.  I guess it wasn't considered stealing... and anyway, what were they going to do to me?  They couldn't punish me much more they already have, right?  I stocked up on all the stuff I thought I'd need, and opened my day pack.  A sawed off Remington M31.  Helluva lot better than my last weapon, a diver's knife.  It sufficed until I managed to get my hands on a gun, but I felt a lot more confident than I did last time.  The shotgun would help me execute (bad pun, Shogo) my plan a lot easier.

          Kyoichi had gone nuts.  I wasn't surprised... not really.  A few of my other classmates had gone off the deep end, too.  They weren't armed with pistols, though.  It was a lot harder protecting Keiko from a psychopath with an AK-47 than a freaked out class rep with a pistol.  I gave Kyoichi warning through--by blowing off his arm.  I know it's sick and pretty inappropriate, but all I could think when the representative's arm exploded in red mist was, "Damn, my aim's a lot better than last time."  It was true, of course.  Last time I couldn't hit the broad side of the barn the first few hours.  A necessity to live put an end to that rather quickly.

          And from there, I joined up with Nanahara and Nakagawa... Shuya and Noriko.  Shuya was so... noble.  I guess he couldn't help it.  He wanted to save everyone, even the "scary ones" like Mitsuko and Hirono.  He was so reluctant to kill, so ready to trust everyone.  I even hinted at how I might be against them... he just laughed it off.  There needs to be more people like Shuya in the world.  I mean, yeah, he's a bit too naïve and a little too impetuous for his own good, but he is a good soul.

          Noriko is perfect for him, maybe if he didn't even realize it at first.  She was so quiet when Shuya and I stitched up her bullet wound.  Most girls would've shrieked, or started crying.  She just sat there, biting her lip and keeping still.  She was so amazing.  It sounds odd to say it, because Shuya swore to protect her and I wanted to protect them both, but she ended up saving us, in the end.  Shuya and I were blowing holes in the air and that damned bulletproof vest of Kiriyama's, and she just steps up, this little girl barely over five feet tall who's probably never even touched a gun before in her life and blows a hole in Kiriyama, who had the most kills of the game (I admit it, I scanned the records Sakamochi kept, when he was out of the room).  It boggled my mind.  I tried to calm her down, in case she started panicking (not that it really mattered, because we were the only three left on the island) by saying I was the one who killed Kiriyama, but it was clear that the tiny red dot that appeared by Kazuo Kiriyama's nose was her doing.  And he toppled right afterwards.

          I took them up to the mountain peak and implemented the last stage of my plan.

          The looks on their faces--_I_ hated myself for a moment there.  The betrayal, hurt, anger (on Shuya's behalf, anyway) was almost too much to take.  I fired two shots in the air and handed them the note I had written when we were in the infirmary.  Shuya was caught up with Noriko in the other room, I doubted either would walk in and see me.  The confusion and hurt on their faces rapidly faded, changed to just confusion, and then a sort of bewildered happiness.  It was pretty cool.  Shuya stood up and would've flung his collar into the ocean had I not stopped him.  I wasn't exactly sure how long those things tracked, and I'm sure Sakamochi would've found it exceedingly odd if Male Student No. 15 Shuya Nanahara suddenly flew fifteen meters and crashed into the ocean.

          On that miserable boat... okay, let me just say that not all of it was acting.  Most of it was, but when Sakamochi had figured out my plan completely and was about to kill me... well, let's just say I was sweating blood for a few moments there.  I was a little afraid that Shuya and Noriko wouldn't show up, like maybe the boat was going too fast, or they couldn't hold on... but in the end, they really came through for me.  Neither looked very sad to discover Sakamochi was dead (being stabbed in the neck with a pencil has to be a very painful, if not ignoble, death).  I knew I was fading by then, but I forced myself to drive the boat for a little while, give the two lovebirds a few parting words to remember me by.  I highly doubt that they'd forget me, but just in case...

          Good luck, you two...

          **Male Student No. 5 Shogo Kawada, deceased**


End file.
